No means no, folks!

A lot of negative aspects adhere to this headline, but I wanted, just briefly, to touch upon a subject not necessarily vegan in character (and why would we have to limit ourselves to that?), but still one of the foundations of my personal view on veganism.

It concerns an aspect of 'everyday life' I think many could recognise: the drunken, desperate, hunt for contentment, if you catch my drift, where someone tries to force someone else into 'having fun' - stemming from a general non-contentment with life, unhappiness, that is, that apparently can only be fixed through alcohol intoxication and large portions of 'look at me, do as me, have fun like me" desperation. I recently participated in the celebration of a birthday (and this is true of almost any party I've been to where supposedly 'adult' people are involved, but perhaps growing older even more obviously brings this out) - and always, always, always one or several of the 'happy party people' suddenly, and often repeatadly throughout the evening, feels the need to engage other people in activities against their will - "come on, sing, you're so good at it!", "you have to play poker with us, don't be so boring!", "I know you've quit smoking, but come on, it's a party - live a little, just have one!". Mob mentality, basically. Stuff you hoped to see in High School party movies only...

I really don't mind being asked to participate in whatever, and I really don't mind people just starting singing/playing the guitar/dancing, in which case I don't mind at all to join - but NO means NO! I fail to see why it would be more fun to force someone into having 'fun' than to attend an event where people from their own free will do what they feel IS fun...

My point is that it is all connected: the everyday eating of meat or dairy that people 'just do', adheres to the same family of conventionality as partying being equal to alcohol and cigarettes, or "no Swedish summer without strawberry cake and lemonade". I'm sick and tired of it, and I really want Havenheed to be that relaxed place I've always dreamt about. Of course, we will too get to be victims of 'convention', but only to the 'convention' of allowing non-convention and of not forcing convention on anyone...). It may seem a bit petty, I guess, to discuss whether we as a nation should allow 'convention-forcing', or not (what now - should we keep 'cake-polices' arresting people trying to force sugary treats on others..?!) - because that's what I'd like to see, an attitude, or a law even, against forcing of any kind. I am not at all against people having a good time (as is often the argument in above mentioned parties, when someone does not want to do something), but I am thoroughly against aggressive, ritual almost, forcing! I wouldn't mind us having foundations against anything mandatory, and in particular stuff like initiation rites impossible to back out of (like in school, or even bachelor parties - how can one say no if one is the center of attention for such an event?)! 

Ok, so basically just a rant, and I had to get it off my chest, but I still think we should try to keep every aspect of every day on Havenheed free from forcing, and instead fully embrace free will and the lust for doing things just for the fun of it!